Out of Your Mind

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And when I saw the actual film, it did disappoint.

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It actually made me think a little bit.

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Mind you, the premise of the film isn’t a mind-blowing one.

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20-year spoiler alert, I suppose.

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Simply put, a guy who’s a total douche to women ends up getting electrocuted, and when he wakes up, he’s able to hear women’s thoughts.

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And that whole aspect of it makes for some hilarious moments, but the best part of the whole gimmick for me comes when the movie gets past the funny or provocative thought reading, and it gets into the darker thoughts of the minds that are being read.

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Here’s what really grabs me about that turn in the story.

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The main character, for the first time possibly in his life, gets out of his own head and realizes that there’s an entire world inside each woman he interacts with every day.

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We walk around every day feeling and acting like the protagonists in our own stories, even those around us who seem the most selfless.

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I mean, come on, let’s be honest.

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How many times have we done something kind because of how good it makes us feel deep down inside?

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Sure, we may be helping somebody, but there may be still a trace of that in what we do.

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And that’s not proof that you’re evil.

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It’s just proof that you’re human.

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As humans, we’re in the rare position of being self-aware.

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We can process thoughts about ourselves and the world around us that the vast majority of species on this planet can’t process.

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Abstract thoughts, like for example, seeing a tree and being inspired to compose a poem about it, instead of seeing it as a way to escape that predator that’s trying to have you over for dinner.

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And I say have you for dinner in the Hannibal Lecter kind of way, not saying the lion’s gonna cook you spaghetti.

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Anyway, it’s human nature to be self-absorbed, and ultimately to be unaware and uninterested in the thoughts of people we interact with on a daily basis.

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We’re not able to read each other’s thoughts.

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We have to almost literally put our brains on pause.

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We have to force ourselves to truly listen and ask questions in order to gain some understanding about the world that’s unravelling inside the mind across from us.

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That’s not easy.

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It means that for that one moment, we need to yield the starring role to the person we’re engaging with.

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That for that moment, we become part of their supporting cast.

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Again, it’s not easy, but it’s incredibly life-changing, both for you and for the other individual.

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If you step inside someone’s world for even a moment, you can change a life.

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In that moment, your daughter will not just be told she matters.

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She’ll actually feel it.

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In that moment, your friend will actually feel valued because they’re receiving from you the two most valuable things you have to offer anyone.

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The things that you can never get back.

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Your time and your attention.

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Conflicts can be resolved infinitely easier if one of the two people at war simply lays down their weapons and steps down from the lead role in their own mind.

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And that’s what happened with this character in the film.

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By being exposed to the thoughts, the raw thoughts of the people across from him, his life ended up changing.

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His relationship with his daughter ended up changing.

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His relationship with his co-workers, his relationship with his friends.

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His entire life was transformed because he stepped out of his own mind and into the thoughts and mind of another.

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You can only control your own world, your own mind, your own role.

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So it has to start with you.

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You have to be the one to take the first step.

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Try this when you can.

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Next time you’re engaging in conversation with someone, just pause.

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Stop staring at your phone while they’re talking.

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Stop thinking about your answers while they’re speaking.

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Even if it’s not an argument, even if it’s a casual conversation, get out of your own mind for a second and listen.

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Actually peek into that person’s world and see what comes out of it.

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You might make a new friend.

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You might discover something in common with somebody.

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You might grow to respect somebody more, perhaps resolve a conflict, and hell, maybe even you fall in love.

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Life’s funny that way.

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Let me know how it goes.

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Email me at contactamusingatgmail.com.

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I’d love to hear your story.

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Remember to subscribe and follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts.

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I’ll catch you guys in the next episode.